My car broke down. I bought a truck. I have to pay for tags, insurance, the truck itself, school, I owe my mother and brother money. I'm broke. I was reading my last blog, and I noticed how I said things would go downhill in a few weeks, and well...I'm staring up at the mountain.

I have an amazing girlfriend. She's fun to be around with, she reminds me that she likes me, and she has even made some brownies for me. =) I still feel overwhelmed with stress though. Although college is supposed to be a stressful, but fun time in ones life, I think I'm dealing with it rather well.

I'm ready to move. At the end of this school year, i'll be headed to Oklahoma to live. It'll be like starting off new. I'll only have 1 person that I'll know there, but other than that, I have to find a new job, start at a new school, and make ends meet as far as money goes. Life is hard.

I'm learning to deal with my struggles easier though. I've been trying to get closer to god, and by doing that, I know that what I'm doing here isn't for me...its for him. Right? I guess I'm still trying to convince myself of that. I have lost some friends. The wall that guarded their values and morals have been breached by the college experience and while that has effected them, its also effected me. I need new friends, so that's what I'm working on. (I should correct myself. I still love them...I just need some more that are like me....)

This semester....so far

Currently, I am on a hill. Things seem to be going just right. I got accepted to the school that I wanted in to, there's a girl here that I've been getting really close to, and I haven't been too stressed out about anything.

I have to figure out where I'm going to live next semester, I have to move to Oklahoma, apply for student loans, scholarships and whatnot, and a few other things. I have a lot to do, but I've got a few weeks to get that done.

This semester has just begun, and so far, I've been handling it well, but, I know its going to get tough within the next week or so.

Like I said, I'm on the hill...meaning, the valley is on its way. Things don't stay good for long....

In college, a person can lose themselves. Actually, in just the grand scheme of life, a person can become someone they never thought possible. When you're young, you know who your friends are and you know who you are, but when sin and people who make bad decisions are introduced into your life, things are different.

Some people are people pleasers. They do what others want to do even though it may not be part of your lifestyle. I think so far, I've done what I've wanted to do. At first, I didn't see why it was so hard to choose who you want to be and stick with it. But as things don't work out the way you want them to, you choose new people to hangout with and then they are able to creep things into your life. Also, when people you've grown up with and love and have always been the ones you go to when your other friends are off drinking and being the average young adult and then they start becoming the average person, you have nobody to stick with. Nobody to relate to you. So you make wrong decisions to keep up with the friends you've known forever.

I drank for the first time a couple weeks ago. I've been totally against it, but through a chain of events, and friends who are doing it...I felt like I was becoming tempted too much.

I've been asked to go again a couple times since, but I said no. I don't think I'll do it again. I didn't really like it....I don't really regret it though.

I know what its all about now, plus I can't judge people anymore for doing it. I don't have that hatred for it that I did.


In other news: I think I'm going to take another year of pre-pharmacy at SWOSU. Perhaps live there and hopefully get into their pharmacy school.

Updated!

Although it's been months since I've updated...nothing enormous or awesome have happened. I have passed my classes, enrolled into new ones, and living life as I normally have. Though...I have been seeing things differently lately.

I don't drink, do drugs, etc... Though I've learned many of my friends do. I used to get disappointed in my friends for doing it. But, I think I've gotten past that seeing how its probably more my problem than theirs. My life has been negatively affected by alcohol, but that doesn't mean everybody's life has, therefore, I shouldn't get disappointed in other people for doing something the rest of the world agrees is okay to do.

I went to a party for the first time last night. I've been to gatherings where people were drinking, but never a full on party. I went to some frat house in Wichita where there were probably close to a hundred people, music, tons and tons of alcohol and drugs. I decided a long time ago that I'm going to choose who I want to be and stick to it, and I decided that I wanted to be the type of person who doesn't drink. I like being original, plus I think its just nasty. Last night I got asked hundreds of times if I wanted something to drink, to which I replied no thanks. Not that I wasn't tempted...I wanted to, but I knew if I did, I'd hate myself today.

So...this year, I'm going to live life as a college student should, minus me drinking and doing drugs. I'll go to parties and enjoy myself, I won't care about other people's business and their lifestyle. I've chosen mine and I'm going to stick with it. I won't get disappointed in my friends drinking or anything.

=D

Annoyed

I talked my brother into moving into the cowley dorms with me. He was quite hesitant at first, talking about how much money it would cost and wondering how he would afford it, but I told him that this was going to be the cheapest we'd be able to get dorms at any college. So, would he rather pay the cheap price, or experience the dorm life at some other college where it would be ridiculously expensive. I imagined how it would be. I'd make a ton of new friends, Travis and I would slowly get away from each other, gain independent lives. School's been started for a little over a month, and I'd say we've finally gotten apart from each other. We have different work schedules, class schedules and junk. But, we still live together. Apparently though, he doesn't tell me everything here.

I would prefer to have a few alone days. Just to be lazy. Perhaps watch a tv show, nap, facebook it up, but I can't. I always have people over, especially when it's just not travis and I living here. Zac lives here too. Which for the most part I don't mind. He moves from room to room and he has a few friends that he hangs out with that I don't. But, when he's gone, I have to have other friends show up. Most of them usually call me before showing up, but one of my friends just shows up whenever he wants.

He might tell travis he's coming over, but not me. He just came over today, and I think he's moving in... He brought a mattress and tried to stuff it under a bed thats already has stuff under it. There is no room.

He's not moving in. This room is barely big enough for 2, and with 3 it's packed full. 4 will not work. It just can't. Too many different work schedules, alarms going off at different times waking people up. When I have to work early in the mornings I want to get to sleep at a decent time, but that will be hard if theres 3 other people in the room who want to stay up and party.

...I just needed to vent. I'm annoyed.

=)

I have been in my wonderful place of learning for approximately a month now. I've made friends, learned new things, and picked up better habits. I've been working about 30 hours a week and going to classes. Most of which I enjoy. I'm terrible at chemistry, but I mean, when am I going to have to draw 1-methylpropyl structure crap?...Never! It's a difficult class.

I've picked up the habit of running. About every other night I run about a mile and half, and I'm slowly working my way towards more. It makes me feel great. I've also learned how to play blackjack. By learned though, I mean I've got the main rules down. I have yet to perfect my game. (I lost 30 bucks tonight)

I have friends stay the night everynight...even though its against the rules. (I'm such a rebel)

I still owe a ton of money to the school...but I've got a while to pay it off.

I wish I had a girl though...someone to have to myself! ha.

There are better things on the other side

I moved to Burden school in 2nd grade, and I met a kid who later became a best friend. We grew up together up until 8th grade when we moved. During our elementary years we would walk to his house and his mom would be there.She was a wonderful woman. We stayed the night there often and one time she made all of us go to sleep early because school was nearing and she wanted us to get used to having a bed time since summer was over.

She also invited us to her hometown with her kids. We stopped by some river and had an awesome time. We met her family and she treated us like her own kids. She loved my brother and I and was proud of us.

We one time got locked out of our friends house and so we found an open window and got into his house. When his mom got home from work, she asked us how we got inside and we said the door was unlocked. She temporarily believed us and because we got away with it, we high fived each other. When my dad came to pick us up, she talked to him about the high five she saw and knew we lied to her.

After we moved she still called us her sons. She always gave us hugs when she saw us and was so proud of us and who we were. She was diagnosed with cancer at this time also but she had chemo* and got rid of it.

It came back and she didn't want to put up with more treatments and last night she past away. We all knew it was coming and so we even went up to visit her a couple weeks ago. She had lost weight, she was frail looking, and weak. She hugged us and told us thanks for coming to see her.

Her family told us that she was happy she was leaving because she was a woman of god. She knew there would be better things after she was gone. She was an awesome woman and I'm going to miss her. But at least she was happy and will be pain free.

New home

After countless hours of letting my mom know that her little boys have to leave the house sometime, and convincing her she'd be fine in the house by herself and that we'd visit often, we have finally moved out. Only 20 minutes away nonetheless. My brother as my roommate and accompanied by a microwave, a tv, our laptops, and refrigerator, we have our lives set for the semester.

First few days were quite sucky. I had no friends and our room was our prison. Sitting here and staring at our tv was about the most fun we could have. We walked around a few times, but the campus is not very big and so our browsing the neighborhood wasn't very fun.

Then classes started and my outgoing-ness began to seep through my skin. I said hey to random people, sat with a couple of people I didn't know at lunch, and added some classmates to Facebook. Now that I'm all settled in, I have a few acquaintances I can hangout with and hopefully they'll become full fledged friends.

I have homework and a lack of sleep. I have to drive back to Winfield to work but I'm excited about work now because we have new owners who seem to have the entire store figured out.

Moving!

I haven’t moved yet, so don’t think I’m blogging about that. But, I’m nearly on my way to move to my dorm. I’m quite excited. My school payments are all figured out, I’ll have a job all school year, and my brother is going to be my roommate. Him and I get along perfectly, so I’m quite happy about that.

Lately though, my friends and I have been together all the time. It’s great. School is starting back up, so we are all getting ready to go off. Tonight we watched Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World and it is an epic movie. I loved it. My friends were also there after our delectable meal at WingStreet.

By the way, I’m a single man again. That was a quickie eh?

It’s been a while!

Nothing awesome/exciting has happened in a while. My cat had litter number 2…but she’s tucked them away in a wall we have and we can’t reach them. I think they are 3 of them.

I did get a girlfriend. Courtney is her name, and she’s quite awesome. =) I would upload a picture, but I don’t think I have one of us together yet.

Tonight is the fair, and we are going to that together. I think we’re meeting up with another couple.  I went there last night, but we left somewhat early. I just don’t enjoy it like I used to.